ANOTHER day, another article degrading Sydney as a city dominated by single, choosy women who will never be happy.

The quest for a witness to the rest of your life is not supposed to be about criteria. It's about a fundamental connection between a man and woman, the result of shared experience and sacrifice. If you think back to all the significant times in your life, you are going to see adversity overcome by emotional strength. This strength is generated by the social capital you have accumulated, not by the amount of money a person makes. If you can forge a bond with someone that creates an emotional synergy then it stands to reason that you should spend the rest of your time with them.

The frustrating thing is that I think most people know this already. The rhetoric generated by the media on the supposed man drought in Sydney only obscures what was once a self-evident ideal. I firmly believe that both men and women were once aware that finding someone to spend the rest of their life with should take time, and not finding "the one" is much better than attaching yourself to someone who will suffice for the time being. The minor statistical difference in the number of men and women in this city does little to help when advertised as the reason that people are still single.

It frustrates me no end to see the lives of twenty and thirty somethings in this city portrayed as a primal game of chance. Every person that I know is so much more than a love-starved robot who creates lists of haves and have nots to direct their relationships. This group is comprised of an equal number of single men and women, and I'm sure that this is the case for most readers.

I have seen the quiet terror that can develop in women who read articles that pigeon-hole them as doomed just because they live in Sydney. It is horrible to see someone change their values because of an article that capitalises on the main fear of most people - loneliness. This change only obscures the real identity of many women, much to the chagrin of single men.

It's time certain journalists stopped cashing in on the hype they create, and give individuals the credit they deserve. We are all capable of finding that special someone - love will find those who have found themselves.

Readers are invited to send 450 words on what makes their blood boil to heckler@smh.com.au. Include your daytime phone details.