AFTER the kerfuffle over T-shirts that could cause offence during World Youth Day attracting fines, here is a further list of T-shirt slogans that may come under scrutiny during the event.

I'm with stupid: No doubt you are, but ignorance is no defence in the eyes of the law. Sentence: 30 days' hard labour.

FBI: Federal Breast Inspector: Pure class. Plus, impersonating a police officer is a crime. Sentence: Meet the Police

Truncheon Inspector.

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationshipSentence: Request granted.

One night in Long Bay Jail, where you may indeed find a new relationship.

Subvert the dominant paradigm: We'll have no subverting of dominant paradigms during World Youth Day, sunshine. Sentence: $5500 fine.

Porn star in training: Not the sort of thing we want associated with a religious event, madam. Sentence: Deportation to Los Angeles where, if the wearer is serious, he or she can begin their porn star careers.

ADIDAS: Every teen perv knows that this secretly stands for "All Day I Dream About Sex". Sentence: T-shirt immediately confiscated.

I made love to your life partner last night: That really hurts, you know. No one wants to think their life partner is cheating on them. Policemen have feelings, too. Sentence: 200 hours' sensitivity training.

Jesus is coming … look busy: Wow, you really like to push our buttons, don't you? Sentence: Eternal damnation, a $5500

fine plus a whole lot of other things you really don't want to know about.

I came to World Youth Day and all I got was this stupid T-shirt: Is that an example of ironic humour, sir? Police have a poor understanding of irony. Sentence: None if an actual participant in World Youth Day; a $5500 fine if not.

I fish and I vote: You will be punished if you vote against

the ruling party. Sentence: That depends on your political affiliation.

There's no place like 127.0.0.1 : Ah, geek humour. Sentence: You have to actually talk to a girl.

Here's 40 cents, call your mother … you've pulled! Here's 40 cents, call your lawyer, you're under arrest! Sentence: 10 days' bread and water.

It sucks to be me sometimes: It sure does. Let's make it even worse. Sentence: $5500 fine.

Super happy manga sexy robot warrior (and other T-shirts worn by foreign tourists clumsily translated into English): As long as they are gibberish as per normal, no problem. Sentence: None, besides mocking laughter.

Can't we all just get along? Haven't you been paying attention for the past 1000 years, sir? If history has taught us anything, it's that we can't. Sentence: A life of futile optimism.